What a fucking waste of an outfit
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
