ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
