Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
