can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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