Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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