There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am one with the molecules
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
