not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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