someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
