I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
