So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize