We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
FUCK WHALES
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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