yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
