I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
