He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
