Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
