Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
