I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
