I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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