I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
