census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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