Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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