i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
