Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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