I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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