R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
