You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My life is pants optional.
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