come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
