My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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