he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How does one acquire holy water?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
