Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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