You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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