It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
