I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
