His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
