just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
