Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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