that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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