I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
