My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
