Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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