Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
