Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize