Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
