trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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