I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
