there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
