Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
