Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
