It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
