There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
