Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
