i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
