Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
