I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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