My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
