Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
