If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
