none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
