We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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