After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wear drunk well.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
