she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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